Shinin Hearts

This week, Amanda left for her internship at Disneyworld. A very exciting time for all of us, Amanda for her new job at the Animal Kingdom park and the rest of us that are SO jealous of her! She is settling in and enjoying her adventure while the rest of us are yearning for one.

What kind of adventure is in store for me this year? At the moment I think it may be related to writing more things down. I've had several more interesting OBEs and other experiences I'd like to share so hopefully I will get to those soon.

What kind of adventure do you yearn for? What is stopping you from living it?


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No, really... underneath all the excuses, what is stopping you and how can you change it?

Today is 08-08-08. 8 is a very auspicious number in chinese culture. The Olympics in Beijing are beginning today for this reason.

According to Wikipedia, in chinese culture:


Eight
The word for "eight" in Mandarin (Pinyin: bā) sounds similar to the word which means "prosper" or "wealth". In regional dialects the words for "eight" and "fortune" are also similar, eg Cantonese "baat" and "faat".

There is also a resemblance between two digits, "88", and the shuang xi ('double joy'), a popular decorative design composed of two stylized characters 喜 (xi, 'joy', 'happiness').


Here are Doreen's angel numbers - appropriate for the changes many are feeling:

8's and 0's, such as 800 or 808 - A message from your Divine Creator, signifying that the impending endings are part of your overall Diving plan. They are answers to your prayers, and in alignment with God's will for you. Ask God to help allay any fears or worries you may have about these upcoming changes.


So... what will you do with the energy of 08-08-08?

It has been suggested that I start writing down more of my OBE experiences, so here we go. I had a request to 'visit' the Essenes and try to get some questions answered. I've discovered this is going to take more than one trip, but it has been very interesting:

It was kind of weird though and not how a normal OBE is for me... usually when I am visiting other times on earth, I am a 'ghost' and no one knows I'm there, I am just an observer. When I go to spiritual places, it is different of course. This time I went into Qumran with a group of pilgrims and everyone could see and talk with me. So... was I still a ghost and they didn’t care or was I just remembering something I had already seen? Maybe Jesus takes lots of people back for tours? LOL I don’t know... but I think this community still exists on an energetic level, like they are still there and all the archaeologists just don’t know it. LOL They were definitely human, living out regular lives of meals and interactions with each other... it did not feel like a spiritual realm, except that my perspective felt weird for a 'human' time.

I was focusing on Jesus' connection so it seemed to me to be about the time he may have been there. He was there and walked in with the group, but then we all split up based on our interests and our host/guide. I had my own guide from then on, who took time to answer all my questions and explain things in a very basic perfunctory way... like he had been instructed to do so. I was given a tour of the buildings, kitchen, sleeping, toilets, etc (too fast and I got lost LOL), shown the materials for copying scrolls (very interesting.. a long wooden table that had been polished with oil to keep the parchment from sticking. I looked quite closely at the table because it was made of a special wood that had some meaning, but I don’t remember what that meaning was. The parchment itself was very thick and stiff, and I thought at the time that I wouldn’t have wanted to work with it in current times, it was almost rough enough on the edges to cut my fingers. One heckuva paper cut! They also explained how the ink was made, and gave me a stylus to practice copying. It felt very much like a tour however, not like I was there to actually copy documents. We then went to the caves where there were scrolls upon scrolls upon scrolls, it was an entire library of everything they had come across in other cultures as well as their own. I want to say there were thousands of scrolls. As a side note, many of these scrolls are still out there and have yet to be found.

They seemed to know that I was interested in learning about them, but that I would also be sharing the information. I spent a lot of time looking at scrolls. I unrolled a couple of them, they were in a language I did not recognize. Then they showed me how to read them without doing so.. by placing my hand on them and 'soaking' it up. They said this way the language doesn’t matter because the knowledge flows freely. That said, while 'reading' scrolls I fell asleep and I don’t remember any of the information!

I tried again last night but with hockey I didn't get home until around 11pm, and I just couldn’t settle down. I finally give up, and juuust before I drift off to sleep I pop back into the caves of scrolls and laugh. LOL I think now that I must be reading information there that I am not supposed to consciously share and that once I am done reading I can get back to the tour and asking questions.

I will continue to write this Essene journey down and we'll see where it takes me!

Well Swati is at it again. LOL She told Dumari and I about TMI's Gateway Experience, and we both jumped on it. It is an interesting combination of science and 'woo-woo'. They developed the "Hemi-Sync" system that uses binaural beats to bring the two sides of the brain together. They teach people how to expand their awareness and understanding of self one step at a time.

You can find out more about it here:
http://www.monroeinstitute.com/

I have just started with Wave I-Discovery. It is very interesting... and the hemi-sync is not as hard to listen to as the hemi-sync music cd I had tried before. But I am still struggling with the process. I find it hard to finish the meditation I am currently working on... and those of you who know me, know I do struggle with 'formal' meditations. that said, I do find the idea of the process fascinating and will stick with it to identify why I'm holding myself back.

I encourage everyone interested in expanding self awareness to check out TMI and let me know if you decide to try something.

July 4th is Independence Day in the US. We have a lot of activities going on around Prescott this time of year. Frontier Days includes the world's oldest rodeo as well as the usual fireworks, parades, and my personal favorite the fire cart races. I even made Steve watch 1776, the musical version of how the Continental Congress came to declare independence... he's such a good sport.

But... throughout all the fun, the burgers and the summer heat... was the idea of independence. It got me thinking about personal independence. What things do I feel stuck with and desire independence from? What situations do I allow myself to get sucked into over and over? But most importantly, what things have I already changed in my life and declared my own personal independence from?

Of course, as we grow older, there are more and more of these personal boundaries that we identify, expand, or destroy. Sometimes it's good to take a retrospective look at how far we've come personally. It can inspire us to keep growing!

As many people know, I love the whole idea of 'random acts of kindness'... and not just because of the goodwill it spreads on the surface.

When you put your needs aside just for a moment, you put your mind aside, your self aside for that moment. You reach out and touch another person, their mind, their heart in a very simple way (yes, like reaching that plum jelly on the top shelf for the little old lady who can no longer reach it way up there!).

In that moment of putting 'self' aside and choosing to be aware of another... we create a new awareness! An awareness of the Oneness of all things. You are sharing the gift of that moment of awareness, of Oneness.

In that moment, you recognize that you are connected to the other person, and they you.
You realize in that moment that you can see yourself in that person's eyes, and they you.
And that you are in every man you meet, and every woman you meet... at some level.

When I was in high school, I was very involved in a christian youth program called Happening. In that program, I was first made aware of this piece by by Charles C. Finn:

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask,
a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.



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We are truly ONE. Next time you interact with any person, try to recognize yourself in them... and love yourself by loving them.

Are you more comfortable with the idea that you have free will, that you make your own choices... or are you more comfortable with the idea that 'someone - out there' is at the switch?

Is your answer related to how confident you feel about your decision making abilities? Is it related to a need to be cared for? What about feeling responsible for your choices, or preferring to not be responsible at all?

I'm sure there are as many varied answers as there are people.. but certainly something to ponder.

Yippee! Yesterday I had a big meeting with the Arizona Sundogs staff.. and I've been given the go ahead to create the first and only Official Sundogs Fan Club. There's a lot of work to be done in a short period of time, but I am well chuffed as my UK friends would say.

The timing seems interesting based on my experience and healing at the workshop last week, because I've been working on this for about a year now. (By the way, I am wearing clothes two sizes smaller this week than last, so they were right about the weight 'melting away'.) Being involved in the local hockey community is something fun I do just for myself... to get out of the house once in a while and meet new people. Now that I am 'retired' from my main spiritual projects, it seems I'll have more time to devote to getting this Fan Club off the ground. LOL

GO Sundogs!

I managed to type more about my experiences a tthe workshop which you can find on the message board http://shininhearts.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=380

I am still experiencing some healing... and magically I had already schedule my monthly massage for today as well. Talk about your spiritual 'set ups'. LOL

Hope you have a beautiful day...

I am waiting for my flight home from the Dolores Cannon workshop. It was very interesting and she was sure to include lots of stories and examples from her experience in regressions. I learned the Cannon Technique of hypnosis and I have to say, it truly is easier and more effective than other methods I have personally experienced.

I likely will keep this skill handy for the opportunities the universe brings to me, even though I won't 'advertise' it. In fact, my roommates Swati and Dumari and I had a lot of fun and amazed ourselves in practicing on each other. SO much love and healing came out of this experience.

I'll post more when I've had a chance to digest it all and can put it into better words... but basically, hypnosis is just a way to get the conscious mind 'out of the way' to let the higher self speak plainly. Many many beautiful and inspiring thoughts come forward, as well as healing. There is something special about hearing the words in your own voice, with all the inflection and emphasis, and very often emotion.

For myself, my emotion filled years and my 'got emotion figured out' years have come to fruition in a surprising way... especially for someone who is no longer very easily surprised. You can never underestimate AA Michael, Jesus, Kryon, Kuthumi, AA Raphael (altogether my personal healing team) and my spirit family. They can get pretty darn creative!

If you are interested in more information about the Cannon Technique, check out Dolores' web site at www.ozarkmt.com

As I pack and prepare for my trip tomorrow to attend the Dolores Cannon workshop, I have been reading her book "Jesus and the Essenes". It has been a very interesting read and I encourage anyone interested in alternative perspectives on Jesus to check it out.

In particular, I found this section indicative of the kind of teaching I personally believe Jesus did. This information comes from Suddi, a personality and life time experienced by Katie as told to Dolores. Dolores asked Suddi for an example of something Jesus had shown him:

"He is very observant. He watches everything as if to learn from everything. He said that when a plant is growing, it knows when to put out new branches, and it knows when to blossom and when to seed. And it knows when to do all these things without any apparent guidance. It seems to know these things out of thin air, so to say. So, in the heart of things man can know things out of thin air, the way plants do with the more basic things. Because man is a more advanced creature, he could know more advanced things out of thin air, and use these things for guiding his life and actions."

I found it interesting because my first thought was that our bodies are like that plant, they know what do to even though we are not consciously aware of all the things it does and knows out of 'thin air'. That is the physical part of nature. But it makes sense to me that there is also a mental part of nature, that just happens when we let it... and a spiritual part of nature that just happens when we let it. There is a nature to all kinds of energy and of course all the things I'm not even aware exist.

I have been open to many things that come to me 'out of thin air' but I imagine there is much much more that I don't even notice. So, here's to 'thin air', noticing, being aware, being conscious. What has come to you 'out of thin air'?!

While working on this web site over the weekend, and various other things... I remembered a conversation we'd had on the message board not too long ago about feeling 'stuck' or like we are in a waiting period. Mother Earth also seems to have been in a holding pattern, and it seems that she has made the first move. The cyclones and tidal waves in the far east have now become 7.9 earthquakes in China. Earth is certainly adjusting her girdle (so to speak), and I expect more adjustments are still in store.

So is it a coincidence that our 'waiting' or feeling 'stuck' has also let loose during this period of time? I finished my hypnotherapy transcript, moved on to the web site which is now almost complete, my boys won their championship, Kirsty's moving her salon, Kelly has a new job and Amanda is cooking and has a new hamster! Ok, these are just examples... but I think they illustrate my point that it's not just ME. Is it just 'spring fever'? It is that time of renewal that has everyone inspired, or is there something going on at another level?

It really has me thinking because of the answers that came during my February hypnotic regression' progression with Swati. During that session, she asked a lot of questions about the future of earth, and I have to believe that all these things are connected. I have to think the timing is related to the Shinin Hearts grid I was working on several years ago, that is almost done 'charging' (will be complete in 2009). I think the last year or so has been in anticipation of some changes that are going to come very quickly over the next 10 years. I know 10 years may sound like a lot of time, but we are talking about monumental leaps in terms of awareness. We're talking about everyone being able to see the energy in everything! Awareness, awareness, awareness. I cannot even put into words how strongly i felt the energy during the session.

I don't have the magic answers yet, but I know they are coming... how about you?

Wow... we're here. After a long battle with priorities and time, we're here! Huge HUGE thanks and kudos to my good friend Kelly for not only designing the entire web site, but walking me through all the things I was too excited to see and do properly. Kelly, you are a star and a bright spot in my life!

Next... last night, my Arizona Sundogs swept the Eagles to win their first ever Ray Miron President's Cup! For hockey fans, you know how important that cup is to players, for non-hockey fans, well, you'll just have to trust me. We had friends over to watch the game last night and it was amazing. When the boys won, they took turns carrying the cup around the ice, hugging each other, laughing and crying... and sharing all of these things with their fans. in fact, they even posed for a special photo, passed the cup to fans, and asked the fans to join them in the locker room for the after game celebration. That's what I call a class act. Tonight, we meet the bus as they come home for another celebration! Makes me very proud to be a fan, and proud to organize the fan club (www.pucktastic.com/sundogs)

And lastly... I will be posting some things in the near future that has really had me thinking about things lately, I hope you come back often to check in, and feel free to comment on, this blog. May it be the beginning of many an interesting conversation!

Peace!
Jen